If you could be any animal in the world, what would you be?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Oh, and for the record. This is how depressing a Stratus is....

People are scared of me, too...I just work too damn hard.

First Grande-Ole' Blog Title

Good morning. Or, well, good afternoon, I'd suppose. The mornings and afternoons this weekend tend to blur....like, every weekend, actually. Sometimes, I find myself going to sleep at 4 in the morning, only to wake up 2 hours later, refreshed. I ramble, though. I decided I'd create this blog for one of 2 reasons, and those I'll explain in not great detail, but slight, because that's how I roll, baby. The first reason is because-well, its kind of a hard thing to explain. I don't really know you all that well, and we've just started talking. Okay, I'm going to try and get this off my chest. I've been told that helps, and that laughter is the best medicine. So, here goes nothing....I'm a grizzly bear. To be exact, I was born off the islands of the Kodiak Archipelago, and am a member of the largest subspecies of bears. Living as a 1500-pound master of everything in the middle of Georgia isn't really my cup of tea, but, hey, I survive. Like this one time, I was going to fill my car up (Its a Status. Like in the Will Ferrell  SNL skit...it really is a depressing car), and I went in to pay for some of that black-gold. The cashier took my money, and smashed a few of those buttons, the one's that say "Oh, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, but I'm going to make it look like I'm working and putting your money in." When I walked back out and realized that I had no money on the machine, my animal instincts began to ensue. I went back inside, and calmly mauled everyone inside with my giant bearlike claws, before catching a fish midstream and high-tailing it out of there.

That was a joke..partially. All of that really did happen, I just hope you laughed, or something. The second reason I'm typing this up is because I need something to catalog my thoughts. Starting college as a freshmen, with roommates that have shot people, and all combined with a planned major that could get me killed (any guesses, anyone?....its Theatre. Yep, you wouldn't think that would kill me, but you're wrong.), all seem like something memorable to write down. So, think of this as my private-little diary...but online, for everyone to read. Long story short: I'm really bad at telling people how my day is, so I decided I'd type it out, so whenever anyone asked, I could just throw them in this direction.

So, I'm done. I remember being in a therapy session with a few other polite gents, and the leader said, "Admit you have a problem. I like to dress in little kid's clothes and take pictures of myself." That was the gist of it. Here we are. Admitting I have a problem. I really do think I'm a Kodiak Bear. And I can't be tamed. Like Miley Cyrus. God, She's annoying.

At least you can tell people I taught you something, huh?